Meet God - Adding to THE LIST

About once every two weeks, I think seriously about death. Don’t take this the wrong way – I am not depressed, as Health Services seems to think every college student is, nor do I have a morbid obsession with dying. But I do think it’s fair that if I actually plan on completing everything on this Bucket List (as I most definitely do), then it’s probably a good idea for me to get comfortable with the idea.

I have so many questions: Is there life after death? Is it going to happen to me? Am I going to come back as an ugly mosquito?

Since none of my friends seem to be able to provide me with any useful information on the subject, I’ve come up with a better solution – I am going to ask God, assuming that He exists (I’m referring to God as a male for now, but don’t worry feminists, half the time He is a She in my head). I’m imagining the convo will go a little like this:

Audrey: Hey God! It’s about time we met. Where have you been hiding?

God: My little lamb Audrey, I am with you all the time.

A: Dude, it’s just you and me now. You can cut the quotes, I know the Book.

G: Whew! It gets boring repeating these things.

A: Okay, let’s cut to the chase. What is up with this dying thing? I mean, the mystery around it – is it really necessary? It’s like the suspense in a horror film. Honestly, I think it’s getting too much hype.

G: …

A: What? Now that you can’t quote from the Book, you don’t have anything insightful to say?

Okay, so when this much-anticipated encounter does happen, I hope that I’ll realize that God has a bit more power than I’m giving him credit for, so I should probably cut the sass down just a bit.

[Dear God, I know you know I am joking, so please play along and don’t strike me with lightning tonight. Love, your humble servant, Audrey.]